the last drive.

all these nine months i struggled for love. i did things i didn't know i could and i should do. it was all because i didn't want to lose someone. i wish he has willing to do the same efforts, but he didn't. he never hesitated to make me think that way, as for always.

i skipped classes, i sneak in and out of the house, i leave my friends, i hide my grading card, i spend all my allowances just to be with him. i lie, i cheat, i disobey, i do whatever. good thing he could see my effort, but still he isn't in the mode to do the same thing.

at times when i ask him, it seems nothing to him. it was like he doesn't care. and guess what? he wouldn't even do something to change the way i think. he just let's it go that way. i don't know what his intention his, but he tells me he loves me.

now, i realized on thing. it is different when somebody says "i love you" ahead of you, than when somebody says "i love you" after you've said them yourself, because it could be that he loves you because he does, or he loves you because he knows you love him, or he just said that to be fair with you and nothing more.

something i don't know [and i really can't remember] how i got here. falling in love with someone like this without even regreting. he's just somebody who won't fight for me.

maybe, he's just too confident that i love him and every time i slip away, i'd get back. good for him, he doesn't know how to feels to wait all day though he's out there doing something else. he doesn't know how it feels to break-up with someone you wish would tell you not to, to walk away and wish a tear would fall down his eyes at every step, and at the last drive would tell you he still loves you no matter how wrong he's done.

i'd always hope for this last drive.