muted emotions

Monday, September 7, 2009


It's been a long time since I stopped blogging. I think my last post was published last last month. I got really busy at school and s0 I wasn't able to find tie and write on my blog.

The past few weeks were really busy weeks for me. I realized that time pressures me so much that I'm missing a hell lot of fun from the hell lot of my life. What made me wonder was that even during the process of doing all those requirements, I had found time to think about not just some, but a lot of things.

Starting, I realized I was growing. I'm not getting any younger. The mirror, my newly developed latest photos, and all the pressure was proving it. Even in my point of views and opinions, it isn't so hard to see that I am growing.

I now not just dream of traveling to other places but I am now earning for tickets. I now have my own bank account and I opened it without the help of my parents. I now travel far places alone. I now prefer to stay at home doing paper works than be at the streets hopping from one street food vendor to another like what I was doing when I was much much younger than I am now. I became busier.

I also surprisingly changed my point of view for earl marriage. I used to want to get married to my boyfriend right after I graduate so I can start being with him always, and have more time for each other than now. I realized, I don't want to get married early. I also felt that I would want to extend my kabataan by not marrying younger. Things, and many things that I could only do while I'm single and unmarried came into my mind these days, and I wouldn't want to miss those things.

Maybe, I have already woke up now, from a slumber that closed my eyes from all of the things I was missing, bonding with the people I used to be bonding with (my barkada), since all I was wanting to hang-out with the past few months was my boyfriend, doing my craft which was writing, taking wonderful pictures of nature, because all of my pictures now are just me alone or me and my boyfriend.

I realized that I was being sure of an assumed conclusion of my young days. Think of it,I was even excited to graduate from college even though I haven't graduated yet from high school because I wanted a permanent job already to earn for my own house and car. What am I thinking. I shouldn't be just studying now and helping my parents.

I was thinking too much of my future that I forget what I should be, a sixteen-year-old. I have let go of the things I should have hold on to. I wasn't able to enjoy all the priveleges a teen ager should have felt during her early teenage days. In less than two years from now I would leave the teenage world and be an adult.

Now I realize that I have barely enough time to make it up to myself. What I'm very willing to do right now is to give enough time to myself, who is just a teen, and be a teen. I don't need to be an adult too early.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

what i exactly wanted.

it's not that im discontent. i just don't know where to place myself right now. i've got friends. we hang out (at school). i have a boyfriend, (yeah. the one that doesn't care). and i've dedicated my whole life to something i don't even know. this isn't like what you always (as the usual) think. this is something different from the norm that people would always think of. i don't know. this thing's driving me crazy!! ahhggh!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

the hero

"In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life."

•the sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. scratch a lover and find a foe.•

love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up, and never truly moving on. Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what's left of your heart that they feel the same.

things don't change, we (people) do. •••

Friday, June 5, 2009

backstreet romance

my favorite place is just here... beside you.