labeled "little miss boring"

"Okay, sorry if you're having a hard time having fun every time you're with me."

i don't get it. is this actually the reason why he's always busy every time i'd ask him if we could spend time together? it's sort of stupid to put things like this on the spotlight, things that actually don't matter. well, maybe to other people, but it means so much to me, thought it shouldn't.

it's been five months since he's been acting a bit weird. he's calls are already minimal, while it's been me who's often asking him to go out. at times we're on an 'ok' mode, sometimes it horrifying. why horrifying? it's because after he'd ask me what i did the whole day, he would be quiet all the rest of the time. it annoys me, but am i obliged to hold his upper and lower lip and force to motion close-open?

yup. that was five months, until he finally cracked it. "Will you try to be quiet? You're boring."
don't ask me how i felt. you know i was hurt, even for the slightest reason.

all these times, he had that reason why he's been acting like that all the while? [ridandancy was applied in that statement, in know.] silence enveloped me upon hearing those words, but when i examined his face, it was nothing to him. he just looked annoyed knowing my eyes were laid up on him, waiting for the next words he would say. he said nothing. oh, he said something actually. "stand up. let's go home."

so that was it? that was it. i wanted to hate him, but i couldn't. i just felt stupid. i was on "self pity" mode. okay, i was boring and boring i was.

-but how can he judge me that way? he labeled me boring, when in fact all the while i was the only one who was talking while he was there sitting, with his mouth shut. well, maybe he wasn't interested about what i was talking about. that thing contributed to the hurt, because what i talked about was my relationship to his family. we talked [well "i talked"] about his mom, and how she entertained me while i was in their place. does he not like it that i got to get close with his mom? i also talked about sensitive things about us, you know, the future, and some of our little problems. i didn't know what was boring on those matters, or if any made sense, but since he considered it was boring, i decided not to talk about those things anymore, since then.

and do you think what i did changed his behaviour? hell no. it made it even worse. this time, he wouldn't want to go out with me. after being labeled "boring" i'd be labeled "dumb" if i wouldn't feel that he's not actually into me already. the best thing to do, is ask him what's the problem.
and i did.

look, i don't want to shed to you any much more of the details so i'm going to tell you directly that it's been confirmed and i was right that he isn't into me already. he wants a girl who'd give him what he needs [boys know it] and i can't. he said all those times, he didn't want to just sit there listening to all the crazy stuffs i was talking about, he wanted to do something else (this is on a different level, in case my school buddies read this.), which he certainly didn't expect from me. he has to look for it on other girls, and at that night, it was over.

"okay, i wish you find what you're looking for. Goodluck with whatever...... dude."

and that's it. did this post made any sense? i'm on latitude 4.16, over the equater, on the tropical convergent zone, the exact location is blah blah blah [wew. pardon me if i do this babbling but the reason is because it still hurts.], kick me if it doesn't.

BEWARE OF BOYS. (who look for this fun.)